Fall Bucket List 2018

This is my second Fall in Texas and I’ve been searching for more and more events and things to do during the Fall time. I spent 5 years in Florida and while I love love love the 90º year round I’m also slightly excited to be in a place that has a REAL Fall — despite my hate for cold rainy weather.

DALLAS ARBORETUM

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I don’t know why I just stumbled on this place a few months ago (via an Instagram ad at that)! Last year they themed it OZ! OZ! And my heart breaks a little that I had no idea This year’s theme is Neverland which, I can also get down with. I peaked the location tag on Instagram and the grounds look gorgeous! I’m not sure what to expect but I have the cutest outfit ready and set to take a million pictures of the Baby Lo bump and of course me!

I know they also have an afternoon Tea Time here but only Mon-Fri and since Bubba works during the week it’s going to be a bit difficult to be able to attend one; but from looks of it they also set up the place nicely for Christmas as well! So, we’ll see!

NORTHPARK CENTER’S PUMPKIN PATCH

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Northpark is one of my favorite malls in Dallas — actually in all of the DFW area! This place is my absolute weakness! We were just there last weekend and now that I think about it, the place was completely decked out in cornstalks and pumpkins. It was some kind of magical! I didn’t see the outside bits since we usually park in the parking garage but we may be able to stop by here again one more time before they take it all down and I’ll definitely take a bit of advantage of that and wander the grounds outside to see if this is out there!

I haven’t been to a proper Pumpkin Patch since I was a child. There is something ultra Fall about a Pumpkin Patch! Granted I don’t really dabble in carving pumpkins anymore… now that I’m older I see how messy the whole process can be and I’m just not about that life lol but it’s always fun to see all the different shapes and sizes of Pumpkins. Is that weird to say?!

TEXAS STATE FAIR

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It has always been on my bucket list to visit the Texas State Fair! I remember years ago I’d watch segments on it on The Food Network and how EVERYTHING there was deep fried, this was before that trend started to spread nationwide at least as far as I knew.

Last year I got to go for my first time and we went on the last weekend of the fair which made it pretty crowded and hectic but there was SO much to see and do! As you can see from the photo it was also cloudy and had rained earlier that day. I’m hoping this year will be bright and warm!

There’s a few new snacks that were added to this years line up and I have a few of them on my list of foods to try. Besides that there’s so much of the fair I didn’t get to see the last time we were there that I hope to see this time!

Maybe this time I’ll actually grab a map lol.

RAMEN EXPO USA

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A random event I had stumbled on while scrolling through Facebook is the Ramen Expo! I had no idea things like this happened and happened in Texas at that! This gives you the chance to taste test different types of Ramen from broths to noodles and everything in between! I don’t know too much about it just that it’s RAMEN and it’s an EXPO, I mean how cool is that?!?

DALLAS WATER LANTERN FESTIVAL

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I’ve always wanted to do one of these and I thought you could only do them in other countries! Imagine my surprise when I found out you can do them here as well!

Tangled was one of the first movies Bubba and I watched together so stuff like this has a special spot in my soul! Though I think the date of this event may clash with another event we had planned, whomp! But I’m still holding out hope I get to see this happen!

FW BOTANIC GARDEN AUTUMN AFTERNOON TEA

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Another tea event I randomly stumbled across that takes place in the Fort Worth Botanic Garden. I’ve passed by this place a few times but have never actually been yet. Thankfully this tea event is on a Saturday! But we’ll see what Bubba has to say; it sound fun!

What are some fun things you’re looking forward to doing in your area this Fall?

 

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Things I love about Fall

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I’m part of the many people who wait all year long for Fall!

When I lived in Cali I loved feeling the change of seasons (and Fall meant those big fat spiders who don’t even spin webs and just sit in corners and pop up in bathtubs would go away), the leaves changing colors, the crisp cool air was probably my fav part of it all. Like the air just felt different! I can never describe it exactly as it’s more of a feeling than a thing. But that shift is my fav.

When I moved to Florida and started working for Disney I noticed we don’t get a Fall. Sure the decor in Magic Kingdom changed to reflect the yellows, oranges and reds. There were Mickey pumpkins hung under every light post. And the display windows showcased Mickey and Minnie in their traditional Halloween outfits.

Despite the fact that Fall doesn’t exist in those parts, it never stopped me from cranking up my AC, decking out my apartment, planning for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party (though running around and Trick or Treating in 90º weather makes you sweat, quickly) and watching my usual Fall movie line up!

Now that I’m in Texas I finally get to enjoy some kind of Fall at some point… even though it’s still around 80º here right now. But Fall is coming! I can feel it!

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And of course Fall/Halloween photoshoots with Axelyn with Penny are my favs around this time of the year!

What are some of your favorite things about Fall?

HELLO OCTOBER 🎃~!

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Throwback to my counter placement in 2015 — even though Florida doesn’t believe in Fall.

It’s finally October!

Which is the most wonderful time of my year!

This year I decided to participate in #BLOGTOBER as I usually do but I also wanted to do what I did last year as well which was make a weekly VLOGtober weekly recap. Sadly I wasn’t able to prep for Blogtober the way I usually do since September was eaten up by nausea and a crap ton of morning sickness! Which may come as a surprise since I haven’t announced it yet that I’m pregnant but ‘ll get into that later in the week.

But because of that I’m also wayyy behind of decorating my apartment for Fall as well, it’s already OCTOBER and I don’t have ANYTHING set up yet! It’s definitely giving me a stronnng sense of anxiety since I usually start up late July/Early Aug. Which I thought to this year but morning sicknses hit me RIGHT AFTER, sigh.

So, between writing daily blog posts and coming up with product shots and all this and that, I’m also working on tidying up my apartment and setting up for Fall with the few weeks I have left to enjoy it before having to take it all down for Winter. These seasons are just WAY too close together!

What are your plans for this month? Are you going to participate in Blogtober?

It would had been her due date…

It’s hard to believe that nine months have flown by that fast — though I guess if I were still pregnant it would had felt like forever, especially now.

Technically her due date was estimated on the 22nd, the day after Penny & Axelyn’s 2nd wedding anniversary. How cool would that had been?! For their first anniversary I moved down to Texas and for their second we coulda had a baby. Okay, it’s a little sped up but you get what I’m saying.

Also I didn’t want to back log this post because… I just didn’t. Though if I had written this on the 22nd I would had been a blubbery mess of emotions like I had been when I wrote a very brief Facebook post.

Today would had been her due date…

I think the part that sort of sucks the most was that we lost the baby 3 days before her first appt and before her ultrasound; but at the same time I truly believe that it was for the better.

Would I had wanted to know the baby wasn’t going to make it on Christmas Eve? Or would I had been better off not knowing and enjoying Christmas as much as I could before we figured out something was wrong?

I watched a video earlier where someone had said; “there’s no reason to be bitter, these people aren’t taking anything away from you by sharing their news.” there’s something like sadness and a bit of jealousy seeing everyone who announced their pregnancy around the time I should had and are now posting pics of their healthy babies while mine isn’t here anymore. But there’s also a pain in remembering the entire time I was heavily bleeding in the middle of the night and going through painful contractions the only reason I was crying was because I knew my baby was dead.

I don’t have anything positive to really say about this, and I don’t like writing negative posts but I’m sure anyone who’s miscarried probably has felt the same way I feel right now.

It was suppose to be your due date.

My mind just stops there, abruptly.

I’m sad we never got to meet you. Or even see you. Your daddy loved you so much from the moment I told him you were here. And I miss you, all the time.

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Happy 2 years~!

Two years ago I married my best friend in a different world.

I can’t believe it’s been two whole years since then! Time truly does fly when you’re having fun, I guess. Because it definitely doesn’t feel like two years. It feels like we just got married. But thinking of the span of time from this day to today and everything that has happened between is crazy.

I’m thankful for this moment. For this day. For the friends that were once family and though they’re not anymore I still keep these memories close to me. I’m thankful for the man by my side who did everything in his power to be there for me — a random girl he met on a video game states away and how he never left my side.

I definitely didn’t know what I was getting into when I decided to say yes to Sir Penny’puss.

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This boy with his smooth lines, sexy catboi and his sexy glamours who for the last two years since we became friends had made sure that I go to sleep every single night with a smile on my face. Who’s never taken his eyes or his attention off of me.

(Don’t worry, my hotbar doesn’t look like that anymore)

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June 21st, 2016 ~

Sometimes life throws up something so god awful you think you’ll never recover. And sometimes it’ll also throw you under the bus. And sometimes, just sometimes, it’ll throw you someone you were NOT at all even trying to look for.

A few days ago hit the 2 year anniversary of when I was forced to get an abortion. I admit that I had been over my ex lonnnnnnng before that. And I was in a very weird in between state of: okay how do I escape this awful situation I’m in and I never ever want to date anyone or have sex ever again for the rest of my damn life.

So when I felt well enough to jump back on FFXIV I was a bit annoyed my friend at the time was heavy set on me meeting a guy she thought I would love. I told her I wasn’t interested nor was I in the mood. I actually told my entire Free Company to stay away from me that day.

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I had spent the day fishing because fishing in FF MMO’s was always a way I had relaxed. And Costa del Sol was definitely a beautiful place to just try and get my mind off of things. It’s still one of my favorite places in the game.

I locked myself in my room and I tried to stay away from everyone.

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But apparently my friend manged to catch me in the crafting room while I was looking for fishing bait and brought the boys — including the one she was trying to introduce me to — with her. I only knew Xer (the one in all black) who was “her guy”. I figured the one she was trying to have me meet was Sir Penny’puss (the one who is IRONICALLY matching me). I didn’t know who Naha was at the time and I think there was one other guy there but he had left before I snapped this picture.

I was purposely targeted on Naha because I felt so awkward there. Penny had came up to me and hit me with a macro and I had never seen someone compile a macro just as something fun to do. Most of the time people just do macro’s as an easier way to cast a spell or raise people so to see him put together this really fun macro was interesting.

Right when he was done they all stood around me and hit me with the /joy emote which is one of my favorite boy cat emotes. Then they randomly ported away. My friend told me to chill with them in Limsa but I was still feeling a bit low so I decided to log off instead.

I didn’t have a very big opinion on Penny when I first met him — I was surprised he was wearing a straw hat and that his outfit damn near matched mine. And I thought he had a lot of energy. That last bit is still true to this day, two years later.

I remember not really knowing what to make of him or if I was interested in him since I didn’t know him. But I ended up adding him on Facebook a few days later. And I started a poke war with him. That turned into very early morning conversations that went on all day long for weeks.

On the 23rd he started throwing out smooth lines to me:

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I went afk for a bit to fold laundry and I came back to Penny sitting right in front of me staring at me. In a top hat. He didn’t know it at the time, I’m sure, but top hats are a weakness.

Me: I’d fold my clothes happily if I came back to this all the time.
Penny: If I’m around I’ll always do this.

And eventually on June 24th this happened:

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I asked him if he had a mat I needed for a top I wanted to craft and he did happen to have it, I was particularly new to this game so I didn’t know much about how things worked or how to obtain them. So he met up with me when he got on after work and gave me the mat I needed.

He then decided to keep me company while I fished and between pony farming with his Free Company.

Again, we’re kinda matching.

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I talk about this particular photo a lot.

I don’t really know why but it’s still one of my favorite /gpose catches. I don’t remember what we were doing or why we were even throwing emotes at each other and I still to this day have trouble getting Axelyn to face Penny when I’m doing /gpose. But the one time it actually worked, the photo turned out to be one of my favorites.

It’s hard for me to figure out what day I should write/post this post. Simply because we met on the 21st. Well we “met”. We hung out together for the first time on the 24th and we started dating on the 30th. Or well that’s when we had our “first date”. We don’t really have a legit anniversary date so we just picked that one.

~*~

Sometimes life throws things at us that we’re not looking for. Or things we feel like we’re not ready for. But I’ve never been one to let a chance that may change my life slip by.

I can’t believe it’s been 2 years already, it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. The time has just zipped on by!

Mental Health — 2 Years Ago

I created this blog as a place where I could be as open and as transparent as I wanted about whatever I wanted to talk about — with that said there are a lot of things in the last 3 years I haven’t really expressed, shared or talked about because I just wasn’t in a place where I could and isn’t that strange? To have to suffer in silence for that many years?

Two years ago I was living with my boyfriend at the time who I had been dating for about a year and a half. We didn’t have a good relationship. We barely got along. I had been trying to break up with his since Easter after he had put his hands on me and slammed me on the couch with his hands around my throat screaming in my face.

Despite the many attempts I had tried to break up with him and kick him out, he just wasn’t listening. He’d start an argument with me and get more angry than me to appear threatening to get me to stop or shut up. We literally never resolved any problems we had — and we had A LOT.

On Memorial Day weekend his mom took us out for lunch and at the time I thought I had just been hit with really bad motion sickness. When we began dating I had been forced to stop taking anti anxiety meds cold turkey and since then my motion sickness had gone wayyy up so I figured it was just one of those moments.

Over a week it had stayed consistent along with dizziness. I couldn’t stomach very much food and even playing FFXIV would trigger my motion sickness.

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My Summer Netflix Queue

Like I did with Hulu, I figured I would do one for Netflix (and possibly Amazon and movies) as well.

I guess I should had changed the Hulu one to Summer instead of Spring, but you guys know what I mean. I feel like May is that inbetween month anyway.

I have 11 on my Queue list for Netflix. I’m definitely not going to get through all of them but here are a few I’m hoping to watch this season!

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Cosmos is a show a good friend of mine actually introduced me to during a dark period of my life 5 years ago. It was super interesting. I think I ended up watching KUWTK and Awkward and I kind of just stopped watching this one.

I use to start my mornings with an episode and have it run while I was doing homework. Sometimes I get obsessed with learning. But this is a pretty interesting show, if you’re into stuff like this.

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Parks and Rec is a show that I always told myself I’d watch eventually. I watched about 3 episodes some time last summer, it was entertaining enough but I wasn’t like HOOKED. I just know this show is known for its memes lol.

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FRIENDS is hands down one of my favorite all time shows. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched this entire series but it’s legendary. It’s often background noise if anything but when I’m really sad I binge FRIENDS until I feel motivated enough to get up and start my day lol. FRIENDS is that friend that’s just always there when you need them!

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Girl Meets World was a show I was SUPER excited for when I heard it was going to become a thing! I remember watching the first episode but I don’t remember it. Boy Meets World was my shit growing up, it was one of my favorite TGIF shows and shows in general! Although Topanga and Corey gave you serious unrealistic expectations in childhood relationships and Corey and Shaun gave you serious unrealistic expectations in friendships it was still a really feel good show!

I have pretty high hopes for this!

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Riverdale is a show I’ve been hearing A LOT about lately!

I guess it’s suppose to be based on the Archie comics? I’m not really sure. But this screen cap makes it look like some edgy Vampire Diaries sort of shit. Archie comics were definitely something I read and collected as a kid but I’m a little nervous to go into this. I’m scare it won’t be what I’m thinking it is lol!

Plus I’m not a fan of gore and dark themed shows or movies.

Minus Shadowhunters cause I mean come on… it’s Jace and Bane. How can you say no to those two?!

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The New Legends of Monkey is something I’ve never heard of. But it’s giving me The Forbidden Kingdom (you know with Jackie Chan… loved that movie) vibes.

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Aggrestsuko is literally all over social media these days. I brought this up to Bubba a few days ago and he wasn’t digging the hover preview but I’m SUPER curious to know what this about. Apparently she’s an adult red panda who works in a city? I don’t know and I haven’t bothered reading anything on it until I watch it lol.

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I know The Clone Wars is not nothing new at all but I’ve never watched it! Crazy right! I’m a huge Star Wars fan and the fact I’ve never seen this slightly bothers me! Especially because we see their Funko Pop’s a lot when we’re out and I just wanna know who these characters are dammit!

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I’ve never heard of Being Human either, I don’t think? But I’m a huge fan of paranormal young adult books and this looks like that. But in a TV series format. I’m just hoping it’s not even a little bit creepy or dark and edgy. Because it sounds really interesting.

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A Series of Unfortunate Events was a show I was looking forward to a few years ago when it first came out and I don’t know, I guess it was around the time I stopped watching Netflix cause I just never ended up watching it. I haven’t read the books either so I’m not really sure what to expect.

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Girlboss looks super interesting! As a blogger and former Network Marketing Marketer (is that a title?!) the term girlboss obviously always appealed to me! I even read that one book titled Girlboss! I’m sure the book and this show aren’t related in any way because I think one is about a young adult. Wait, I just looked it up. I lied. It’s inspired by.

~*~

I just started watching Aggretsuko, I couldn’t resist!

“Your chill game is something to behold,”

It’s so cute!

And I’m starting to think Bubba is the responsible type. I mean he is, but man does this second episode apply to him lol!

What’s on your Netflix queue, if you have one?

Mental Health: Medication Story

Bubba wanted me to write a very detailed and extensive blog post on OUR BLOG about my journey with anxiety and so parts ONE and TWO can be found there. I’ve debated on copying + pasting them here as well but I’m not sure…

With that said I’m jumping a bit ahead to the medication part of my story.

When I were first diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Anxiety in 2005 I refused medication; I figured if my brain had the ability to rewire itself, it had the ability to rewire itself back. I never assumed it would be easy, especially considering how intense my anxiety and anxiety attacks were back then. I went to group therapy every week and I went to one on one therapy once or twice a month until 2010.

Here’s the thing about therapy. It won’t work if you’re not ready. And if you’re not ready, that is totally fine. There’s no reason to rush a process that you’re not ready to dive in to. Just because you doesn’t mean you’ll beat this any faster than you plan to.

Working around and through your anxiety is a journey only YOU can take. Only YOU know your limits. And you should NEVER let SOMEONE ELSE direct that journey FOR YOU. Never feel like you’re disappointing someone by not getting over this at the speed they want you to get over it. YOU are NOT the disappointment, THEY are for pushing you beyond your comfort level.

Just had to throw that out there.

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Mental Health: & Music

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When I wrote yesterday’s entry I wasn’t aware that it was Mental Health Awareness Week. I feel like MHAW/MHAM come and go so often that it’s hard to keep track of these things. Not to mention in my world, Mental Health Awareness is pretty much an every day thing.

I feel like my life has all kinds of divides and chapters when I look back on it; from the time I was 13 until my anxiety full force kicked in at 20 I struggled HEAVILY with depression and suicide. I was constantly listening to music. CONSTANTLY. There was rarely ever a time I wasn’t playing music. Everything from DDR songs to 80’s Light Rock to Hip Hop to R&B to Slow Jams to Techno to Alternative.

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